{Guest Post} Elizabeth Tardio
If you’re getting married, listen up! And if you’re already married listen up too! I’ve always loved traditions. Always. Doesn’t everyone? (Yes. The answer is yes.) So, without further ado… a tradition you’ll want to start.
I remember the moment like it was yesterday. Chris (that’s my husband) and I were at dinner with two other couples, all of us great friends and all newly married. The conversation turned to sports (does it ever end?), babies (none of us were ready for 2 feet additions), and travel (AHHH! Can we just go on a 2nd honeymoon already?) Something in the travel segment of the dinner conversation had me spitting out my steak, hushing the men, and asking to hear it again. One couple, the Carters, would be going to West Virginia over Labor Day weekend. A hush fell over the crowd, followed by much inquiry as to why they were planning a trip to West Virginia of all places. (Sorry, natives of West Virginia.) The answer: “We started a tradition this year of drawing a state on New Year’s Day. We then have a calendar year to visit that state. In 50 years, we will have visited all 50 states.” That’s all I needed to hear! We Tardios would have no shame in copy-catting this idea. I was on this like white on rice. We would see 50 states in 50 years of marriage, a state a year. I was sold.
If you’re getting married, listen up! And if you’re already married listen up too! I’ve always loved traditions. Always. Doesn’t everyone? (Yes. The answer is yes.) So, without further ado… a tradition you’ll want to start.
I remember the moment like it was yesterday. Chris (that’s my husband) and I were at dinner with two other couples, all of us great friends and all newly married. The conversation turned to sports (does it ever end?), babies (none of us were ready for 2 feet additions), and travel (AHHH! Can we just go on a 2nd honeymoon already?) Something in the travel segment of the dinner conversation had me spitting out my steak, hushing the men, and asking to hear it again. One couple, the Carters, would be going to West Virginia over Labor Day weekend. A hush fell over the crowd, followed by much inquiry as to why they were planning a trip to West Virginia of all places. (Sorry, natives of West Virginia.) The answer: “We started a tradition this year of drawing a state on New Year’s Day. We then have a calendar year to visit that state. In 50 years, we will have visited all 50 states.” That’s all I needed to hear! We Tardios would have no shame in copy-catting this idea. I was on this like white on rice. We would see 50 states in 50 years of marriage, a state a year. I was sold.
Chris immediately got on board too, as we both love to travel and there are so many states that I haven’t seen at all and he has only seen in passing for work. We’d traveled a little in our dating relationship, to Atlanta a couple of times, to Mississippi and Kentucky several more to see our respective families or take in…wait for it… wait for it… a football game. We’d been to out-of-town weddings in New York and Biloxi. We even spent a few days in Miami. Most recently, we’d taken an exotic honeymoon to Belize. Each time we traveled, whether in the car or on an airplane, we always came home saying what wonderful quality time we had, how much we learned about the other person, how much our bond felt renewed and strengthened, and what wonderful memories we made exploring a new place together. For instance, during our trips, I learned that Chris brushes his teeth more than any human I’ve ever met, leading to what our lovely dentist Dr.Pittman terms “impeccable dental hygiene.” Chris also repeatedly forgets underwear, socks, and a belt when he travels. His favorite travel snacks are Sunbelt Oat Bars, and he is diligent with timing out his restroom breaks. He has learned about me that I get incredibly cranky when I’m hungry. I always WAY over pack, like 50.0 pounds for a weekend getaway over pack. I also always fall asleep on car rides, and I do not time out my restroom breaks in the least.
So, it was decided immediately that we would openly copy this idea, but we’d add our own twist as well. We’d have rules, and we’d do this old-school, drawing from an actual deck of state flash cards (which can be purchased at any parent-teacher store). If you’re really resourceful you could even make your own. (I was not.)
Rules for the Traveling Tardios Edition of 50 States in 50 Years:
1)The state must be drawn on August 11th of each year, our anniversary. The drawer alternates each year. The other must photograph the monumental draw.
2) We have one year to visit the state.
3) There are NO putbacks, except for Hawaii or Alaska, which may be put back until a “big anniversary year” or a year when time/finances better allow for extended travel.
4) We must stay in the state at least 48 hours.
5) If we travel through other states along the way, only the actual state drawn is recorded (yes we have a map to record the travels…)
6) If we travel elsewhere in the year, that’s fine but no other states are removed from our deck.
Since this GENIUS idea didn’t come to us before our wedding and we couldn’t draw the state on our wedding night, we actually just picked our first state. Thus, we settled on California and we decided to make an anniversary trip of it, going just a few days prior to our first anniversary. (Aren’t we romantic? Watch out Bachelor.) We spent 3 nights in San Francisco and then traveled up to Sonoma for 2 more nights. It was the perfect combination of city-life and charm. In San Fran, we saw (translation: froze) a Giants game, went to Alcatraz, toured Stanford (my lawyer husband gets his kicks from a)me and b) law schools across the country), checked out Lombard Street, went on a hike overlooking the bay, and ate. A lot. In Sonoma, we toured a vineyard, drank lots of wine, ate a lot (again), went to a festival on the Sonoma square, and got our first (and last) couples massage. Besides the couples massage disaster, where my husband attempted to take his phone and reading materials along and tried to get his massage through his blue jeans and fleece jacket (true story), it was an absolutely wonderful first state to visit and perfect way to celebrate our first anniversary.
Rules for the Traveling Tardios Edition of 50 States in 50 Years:
1)The state must be drawn on August 11th of each year, our anniversary. The drawer alternates each year. The other must photograph the monumental draw.
2) We have one year to visit the state.
3) There are NO putbacks, except for Hawaii or Alaska, which may be put back until a “big anniversary year” or a year when time/finances better allow for extended travel.
4) We must stay in the state at least 48 hours.
5) If we travel through other states along the way, only the actual state drawn is recorded (yes we have a map to record the travels…)
6) If we travel elsewhere in the year, that’s fine but no other states are removed from our deck.
Since this GENIUS idea didn’t come to us before our wedding and we couldn’t draw the state on our wedding night, we actually just picked our first state. Thus, we settled on California and we decided to make an anniversary trip of it, going just a few days prior to our first anniversary. (Aren’t we romantic? Watch out Bachelor.) We spent 3 nights in San Francisco and then traveled up to Sonoma for 2 more nights. It was the perfect combination of city-life and charm. In San Fran, we saw (translation: froze) a Giants game, went to Alcatraz, toured Stanford (my lawyer husband gets his kicks from a)me and b) law schools across the country), checked out Lombard Street, went on a hike overlooking the bay, and ate. A lot. In Sonoma, we toured a vineyard, drank lots of wine, ate a lot (again), went to a festival on the Sonoma square, and got our first (and last) couples massage. Besides the couples massage disaster, where my husband attempted to take his phone and reading materials along and tried to get his massage through his blue jeans and fleece jacket (true story), it was an absolutely wonderful first state to visit and perfect way to celebrate our first anniversary.
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We drew our second state on our anniversary this year; Vermont was the lucky pick. Neither of us had ever been to Vermont so this was immediately exciting. I also have a good friend who just moved to Maine so we planned to see her too. Chris vouched for a summer trip when it’s hot as Hades down here, and I rallied around the idea of a ski trip in the winter. And, I won out. (Can you see who wears the pants around our house?) We decided on a New Year’s Ski Trip to Stowe, Vermont. This would be Chris’s first time skiing and my first time in many years.
We stayed in Stowe for 3 days and skied two. Stowe is the perfect little New England town, and it was absolutely beautiful. Snow everywhere and Christmas decorations at every corner. That said, we are exceptionally terrible skiers. Chris had two wipe-outs just getting on the chair lift, and I was the slowest skier Stowe has ever seen. We also decided to borrow ski clothes instead of making the investment, and we were quite the sight, clad in too big, too tight, mismatched ski gear. In short, we were an embarrassment. But, we had the time of our lives and can’t wait to go back soon. We wrapped up the trip with a New Year’s Eve dinner date with friends in Boston (though, as you are now informed, Vermont was our state to visit not Massachusetts…Following our rules, Massachusetts is still in our deck of states.).
We stayed in Stowe for 3 days and skied two. Stowe is the perfect little New England town, and it was absolutely beautiful. Snow everywhere and Christmas decorations at every corner. That said, we are exceptionally terrible skiers. Chris had two wipe-outs just getting on the chair lift, and I was the slowest skier Stowe has ever seen. We also decided to borrow ski clothes instead of making the investment, and we were quite the sight, clad in too big, too tight, mismatched ski gear. In short, we were an embarrassment. But, we had the time of our lives and can’t wait to go back soon. We wrapped up the trip with a New Year’s Eve dinner date with friends in Boston (though, as you are now informed, Vermont was our state to visit not Massachusetts…Following our rules, Massachusetts is still in our deck of states.).
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We are anxious for August 11th to roll around again, of course to celebrate another year of wedded bliss (right honey? right?) but also to draw our next state. We’re hoping for somewhere sunny, which means we’ll probably draw Michigan or Wisconsin. But, no matter what we draw, we’ll have a blast traveling somewhere new together and growing in our relationship.
I hope this idea might be one you’ll want to consider in some form or fashion. Some people we’ve told think they might alter it a bit, only putting in states they desperately want to see, maybe drawing for each vacation taken. Maybe it becomes a family thing or maybe it always stays a sacred treasure for just the “grown-ups.” There’s so many ways you can go with it, but most importantly, we’ve learned it’s a great way to make memories with each other that hopefully last a lifetime.
I hope this idea might be one you’ll want to consider in some form or fashion. Some people we’ve told think they might alter it a bit, only putting in states they desperately want to see, maybe drawing for each vacation taken. Maybe it becomes a family thing or maybe it always stays a sacred treasure for just the “grown-ups.” There’s so many ways you can go with it, but most importantly, we’ve learned it’s a great way to make memories with each other that hopefully last a lifetime.
Credit: Map by Groovy Gravy Etsy Shop
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